Just a Passing Fracas

The other night I had a vision. On a whim, I asked to be shown how this world ends. Hey, I was feeling comfortably nihilistic, and who doesn’t succumb to a little morbid curiosity now and then?

I was expecting to see a burst of nuclear fire, a giant rock hurtling through space on a collision course with our doomed planet, maybe some giant tentacles flopping around from the murky depths. Something cool. Something so big and so far beyond the control of all us “little guys” that when the end comes, we wouldn’t have anything left to do but gape at it in horror.

That’s not what I saw.

What I saw was an immense throng of two-dimensional, minimalist human forms, like paper dolls. Hundreds of thousands of people crowded together on a great, vast, dusty plane. Some were colored bright red, others bright blue, all of them engaged in a terrible battle with each other. It didn’t seem to matter to them what color they were; every individual seemed to have pitted themselves against every other individual. Maybe there were two sides at one time, with alliances and coordinated efforts, but from where I was watching, it was just everyone for themselves against everyone else. Reds vs. blues. Blues vs. blues. Reds vs. reds.

They were all just SO MAD.

I watched the crowd moving en masse, creeping its slow way across the desert. And there, at the “end of the world,” I saw the cliff over which they were throwing each other.

SO desperately ANGRY, each one trying to pummel everyone around them and toss as many as over the edge as they could before they themselves got tossed.

There were some other people in the scene, too, though. They were of the same basic shape, but colored purple or gray. There weren’t very many of them. They all seemed to be by themselves floating above the chaos, a loose group composed of solitary units, watching the endless waves of frothing anger pass beneath toward the precipice of the falls. I felt as though the purples-and-grays were just biding their time, waiting for the dust to settle. They seemed to accept that this self-selective apocalypse was part of a naturally recurring pattern in their reality, Their world wasn’t ending; some parts of it were just purging themselves.

So–what, exactly, does it mean to be human, and what the fuck are we doing? Are we our own worst natural disaster, driving ourselves to extinction with anger and fear and the ego’s irresistible need to protect itself from any challenge, however small? The need to be RIGHT even when we’re wrong? Is there anything we coulda-shoulda-woulda be doing to change things, or is the craziness of our times just part of a greater order that knows how to take care of itself? If so, how many among us might be capable of patiently rising above, and once the excitement is over, resuming…whatever else there is to do and be?

Like many of my visions and dreams, this one gave me a few new metaphors to play with, but no clear answers.

Cold Call–Kick ’em to the Curb!

While waiting for the paint to dry on my latest art project, I got the distinct impression that someone out there needs a reading. Right now. In fact, it was one of my spirit guides, “Angus,” who stepped in and kept poking me until I got the cards out. My guides don’t usually use the cards (in fact, Angus kept bitching about the “new-fangled designs” on the Rider-Waite deck) but sometimes they do give us something to focus on during these impromptu channeling sessions.

Here’s the spread, and Angus’ interpretation.

“Oh. Oh, blooy hell, my dear. Your imagination and spirit transcends that of the company you keep. You must be your own champion. You MUST. There’s no getting around it, and I’m afraid this means you’ll have to leave someone behind. Break the established rules of the relationship, snap them right in twain, and bugger anyone who tries to hold you to their own out-dated standards and expectations. It might have worked for you once, but open your fekkin’ eyes, love, it’s done; it’s time to move on. Rip off the band-aid and get on with it. Do not–NOT–succumb to someone else’s ‘woe-is-me’, lest it become ‘woe-is-you.’ Aren’t you better than that? Stronger? You’ve got such vision, such spirit. Why in the world would you let them define or constrain what you’re about to become? Moody selfish bastards; you don’t need them. There’s naught wrong with bathing in the blood and tears of your captors, physical or spiritual.”

Angus isn’t known for pulling punches.

So What’s New with You?

[Obligatory statement about how long it’s been since I’ve posted, blah blah blah.]

Well, I’ve been busy. So much has happened over the past few months, and I’m in a totally different place than I was the last time we were catching up. I won’t bore you with the details–they’re no more or less than the ups and downs in a normal life. But today I found myself thinking about the chain of events that got me here, and it occurred to me that even though I’d been wishing for some of these changes for a long time, they didn’t happen until I was ready. A few (or a lot of) years sooner would have been way too soon, and I would have made a mess of things.

So today’s blog post is about patience. And never giving up. Not even after you get what you want. It’s not a race; there’s not a finish line, you don’t get to stop when things are particularly bad or good or when you achieve a goal. You keep going, because there’s always another level and more to be done.

Today’s blog post is also about my head exploding trying to wrangle all the site renovations and additions and more surprises that I’ve been working on in the background. Coming up in the next month or so, look for an expanded menu with new goodies and psychic reading styles (ready to meet my “spirit guides”? They can’t wait to chat with you!) and–are you ready for this?TOUR DATES!

I’ve joined up with the Vixens of Horror, a group of super-creative models and entertainers here in the Pacific Northwest. We’re drawn together by our love of magic and the macabre, and we’re getting ready to start traveling across the country to lots of cons and other events.

From the “Malice in Wonderland” project. Photography by Corvin Blacke of Mixed-Debris. (I’m the Jabberwocky over there on the right.)

Yes! I might be coming to your town this year! 

Stay tuned for more details! (Or just keep refreshing your FB feed.)

7/19 Cold Reading: BE CAREFUL, BIKERS!

I’m inspired to do a “Cold Call” reading tonight, but I’m bored with tarot cards. I’m going to draw some random goodies from my special mojo bag filled with Somniscript chips and other dream symbols that I’ve picked up along the way.

That bicycle could be a metaphor: freedom and efficiency comes with a degree of vulnerability. I’m getting a strong feeling, though, that this is literal. I have a few friends who ride. I want you all to be very careful this week.

The symbol on the right represents the Law of Conservation of Energy. Sounds nice and “green,” doesn’t it? But it really refers to the tendency of the Universe to balance itself out, like water seeking its own level. Energy can’t be created or destroyed, but it does change form, all the time.

The middle symbol isn’t Somniscript, but the sigil of the planet Uranus: he rules chaos and transformation. Sometimes this works in our favor. Other times it can be pretty painful.

The symbol on the left is the doorway to new worlds. And in this case, I sense that this “new world” is going to require leaving the old one behind.

Seriously, cyclist friends, pay attention and watch your ass. Cars and buses ARE BIGGER THAN YOU and they can’t always see you zipping around. The life force is a form of energy. Please don’t let yours change form just yet.

“Somniscript” what…?

Earth-centric astrology has always seemed really confining to me. What about other-dimensional beings? What about someone born on another planet? What about everyone who just doesn’t feel that Earthling groove? These symbols came to me in a dream trance during the wide-open doorway of the New Moon on the darkest night of 2012 (when the world may or may not have been ending, remember that? Good times!). Whatever your center may be, it’s all about the cycles around you.

Stay tuned for more about Somniscript and how these dream symbols are used in charts and readings! I’ll have some free samples coming up later this week! (Or PM me for more info and a special pre-official-offer reading discount.)

Watching the Pot

Tuesday: “Am I going to get a new job?”
Friday: “Anything new happening with my career?”
Sunday: “…what about now?”
Monday: “…what about now?”


Sometimes people want to get multiple readings to keep tabs on a situation. This is a good idea when there’s a lot going on and the balance changes quickly from one day to the next. But often it’s just a waiting game, and I’ve noticed something interesting happens when we ask the same question over and over again: either the readings become really, really repetitive, or they stop making sense entirely.

If we’re using astrology, the planets’ courses aren’t going to suddenly shift. That Jupiter transit that I told you about last week is still doing the exact same thing, right on schedule. I promise. But even randomly-shuffled tarot cards tend to get weird when we ask a question more than once–the same cards start coming up, in the same positions. Or we get different cards that are so all over the board, there’s no way to see how their story is remotely related to your question.

You know how some nights you’ll open the refrigerator several times, just to see if anything new is in there since the last time you looked? Multiple readings for the same question are like that. We might see that the cheese just moved to another shelf or that you should probably throw that tomato away, but if you don’t get up and go to the grocery store, don’t expect a spontaneous cheesecake manifestation.

Whatever comes across in the first session is usually what you need to know. We can keep digging for more details and new perspectives, but there comes a point where we’ve seen all that we’re going to see and it’s on you to deal with the situation and either just be patient if you can’t control it, or make something happen if you can.

I love repeat business, but you don’t want to pay for the same reading twice!

Gritty Tarot Re-boot

This is, without a doubt, the most intensive Photoshop project I’ve ever done. I have at least 20 hours into these two images. Prints will be available as soon as I have the pricing down.

I did all the Photoshopping myself, but I owe many thanks to Corvin of Mixed Debris for the raw photos, and to Mary St. Sin and Sir Mark Bruback for standing still longer than Adam and Eve probably ever did.

Of course these pieces are based on Pamela Coleman Smith’s original designs for the Rider-Waite tarot. The card borders are from scanned images of my 1971 deck.

By the Gods, this was fun. I think I’ll do an entire deck. At this rate, it’ll be ready for pre-orders around 2025. Anyone want to sit for photos?



Polaris: Anchor, Lighthouse, and Other Nautically Cosmic Metaphors

Every night I spend a few minutes staring up at Polaris, whether I can see it or not. It’s my favorite star.

Polaris doesn’t move. Sailors used to navigate by the “North Star,” and I see it as a spiritual beacon as well. It’s become an important symbol in my own personal mythology.

Hey, I’m going to go out for a smoke now, in fact. Come with me. Come look at this.

Everything else in the sky that I can see from my hemisphere is spinning around and around and around and it never stops, while Polaris just sits quietly up there in one spot* like a tranced out Ascended Master, or the finite center point of an infinite spiral. When my life feels like it’s going haywire (which is pretty much par for the course), I always know where Polaris is. Even on a cloudy night. Even in the daytime.

I associate Polaris with the Archetypes: big ideas that have become entrenched in our collective consciousness and don’t change. The concepts represented by the gods and goddesses, heroes, villains, standard stock character types, monsters, and the stories about all of them that just keep re-appearing in many different forms throughout the history of all Earth’s cultures. Archetypes are the examples we’ve created which, in turn, create us by showing us how to shape our lives.

Mathematics. The laws of Physics (including the ones we don’t know about yet). The philosophical debates around our most basic questions. The perfect Platonic Ideals conceived by imperfect slices of consciousness.

The core tenet of so many religious beliefs: “Don’t be a dick.”

If we ever get to meet people from other planets (when, dammit, I mean when), I bet we’ll find common ground when we start comparing our species’ oldest questions and the stories we tell as we to try to answer them. I like believing that these things are universal and unchanging.

This might sound weird coming from a self-proclaimed Chaos mage. I understand that events and time are all random and fluid from the human perspective. It feels like we’re swept every which way by who-knows-what kind of cross-dimensional cosmic tides and our lives are subject to incomprehensible coincidental fields. I just appreciate being able to look up while trying to sail through the midst of this whole mess and knowing there’s something tangible that I can rely on: a little point of light that’s always there*. We just have to keep going that-a-way and we won’t get lost.

*Yes, I know the Earth wobbles a little on its axis, and I know that someday Polaris will be gone. But I’ve just given it Archetypal status, so it’s officially part of the stories, and it’s not really going anywhere ever now, is it, Smarty-pants?